For fun
It began as a joke.
Nicole built this website herself, at night, and needed a photo of Gail for the mobile massage page. Gail sent this one. Nicole wrote a bio to match, and then it seemed unfair to stop there. None of this is on the booking page. All of it is true in spirit.
Who's coming
Real names. Real licenses. Mostly.
Gail · LMT, Nights Only
Gail joined the mobile team after a long career in what she calls "cemetery-adjacent wellness." She does not use oil. She uses whatever is under your sink. Clients describe her touch as "cold," "surprisingly strong," and "still there after she left."
Her signature session, The Grave Roll, is ninety minutes of you lying very still while she watches from the corner. Sessions end when Gail says they end. She does not knock. She is already inside.
Specialties: deep tissue, deeper tissue, retrieval of tissue. Tips accepted in O negative. Please do not make eye contact, and do not ask about the headband.
Nicole · LMT, Owner, Self-Appointed Fascia Whisperer
Nicole has been finding patterns since 2003. In your body, in your walk, in the way you set your keys down. She will watch you cross the parking lot and know things about your left hip you have not told anyone. She has never once said "that's not where it starts" quietly.
Her signature move is doing nothing, on purpose, for a very long time, and calling it a technique. It is. Ask the fascia. She cannot be rushed, bribed, or distracted, though the dog on the couch has come close.
She built this website herself, which is how Gail ended up on it looking like that. Nicole regrets nothing. Sessions end with a straight answer, a homework assignment, and an unsettling amount of eye contact. Tips accepted in dog treats. Pictured: an ordinary Tuesday.
The mascot
Buster. He outranks everyone.
Buster · Mascot, Director of Massage Operations
Buster has been present for more sessions than either therapist and has never once been asked to leave. He supervises from the couch. He does not get up for you. You are not that interesting yet.
His training is extensive and entirely self-directed. He specializes in the long stare, the well-timed sigh, and appearing directly under the table at the exact moment the release happens, which he takes credit for.
He has been photographed more than Nicole, licks without consent, and is the only member of the team with an unblemished review record. Payment in treats, delivered promptly, or he will hold it against you in a way you will feel in your left hip.
Also
Nicole wrote a book. Allegedly.
Artist's rendering of the author
The Princess Warrior Life
It has a woman with a sword on the cover, a single wing, and a subtitle with the words "limitless potential" in it, which is exactly the kind of thing you'd expect from someone who spends her days finding out things about your left hip. Reviewers describe it as "raw," "powerful," and "not about massage at all."
Buster does not appear in it and has filed a complaint. Gail is not mentioned either, which she considers the only sensible decision in the whole project.
Is it real? Nicole says yes. Nicole also says she can feel your fascia from across the room, so.
It's twenty dollars. Who knows. It might transform your life.
Field research
Nicole, on assignment.
Undercover in a hat, gathering fascia intelligence from a civilian. The civilian did not know.
Abroad, assessing a cathedral. Verdict: compensating on the left. Could be resolved in a series.
Sedona Myofascial Release is not responsible for anything any of the three of them does after sundown. The real bios are on the About and Mobile Massage pages, and the work is very, very good.